Obi-Wan: The New World - Chapter 1
by Bodindy
Summary: This is the beginning of Obi-Wan's new world. After he drops Luke off, he is forced to examine his shattered life. He contemplates what he can do to make a change in the world, while fitting depression and feelings of loneliness. His actual trial begins, one where he discovers who he is and what he can do.


The sands of Tatooine scatter restless and discordant. The heat glazes the surface of the tan sand and vents a haze to beleaguer anyone without shelter. The planet itself is deadly, the terrain indistinct and wild. Tatooine the pit of the galaxy Obi-Wan believes, but he understands its emotions now. Its angry disposition and desire to destroy. The lack of emotion it shows for life.

Watching Anakin, a product of this world, destroy everything Obi-Wan loves, smothers hope. Anakin is no longer alive…

Obi-Wan draws his thoughts away as they begin to darken inside himself. The blonde little boy he met long ago is now a lost memory fading as quickly as the sands blow past. If only Qui-Gon were here.

Obi-Wan stands on a sand hill adjacent from the farmhouse, with a dome surface and a portion of the structure buried under the ground. The new home to a son, who is forgotten.

The wind blows strongly, sending up dust clouds. Obi-Wan looks away, squinting, from the house into the distance toward Mos Eisley, caught in memories. The sand in the distance forms a cloud and grows, smothering the brightness of the sun momentarily. Obi-Wan's disposition relates to the weather's, scattered and spread too thin. His mind is shattered into fragments now lost. He struggles to occupy or understand his thoughts and his heart's desires to lash out, to break free. He is stuck in his body, unlike the wind, which is free. He wants it to blow him away.

He stands poised like a man of war with his body erect, but shoulders slumped in defeat.

Luke, Padma's boy, rests in a bed in the farm nearby or in the arms of his new parents, who cannot have children. Long flights to Tatooine allow too much time to think. They are in no immediate danger, but Obi-Wan knows that Luke, only an infant, will be targeted by the galaxies most powerful enemies.

Obi-Wan watches over the child as instructed by master Yoda, but he feels no love or attachment for Luke. Emptiness. He feels like he is falling into a void like he died as well when he killed his padawan.

While traveling, Obi-Wan held the infant in his arms feeling nothing. He tried to meditate, tried to calm himself, but the images of Anakin dying, upset, burning with lust and hatred destroys the innocence of an impassioned youth, his brother flashed in his mind.

Obi-Wan forces his mind to close. He knows his mission now. It is the boy and Luke's success. It has been a few days since leaving Luke with his family, but Obi-Wan has returned every day to look down on the farmhouse.

The conversation he had with Owen and Beru proved difficult. He rehearsed recent events and vague descriptions of Anakin's and Padma's deaths. He omitted pieces of the story for their sakes. He knew the force guided him to their home. He could see the two cared so deeply for the child immediately, and that made Obi-Wan desirous for a simpler life.

As he left their home, he sensed their love and their kindness. He felt hope for Luke, briefly before it left to dwindle to thoughts of Darth Vader and look in Anakin's eyes. The dead soul that stood beyond reason and logic, pure power, fear, and anger mixed with a love for Padma and him. He witnessed the bitter battle that raged in Anakin, pleading he fought. He could sense it then, the confusion, but the more they fought the more Obi-Wan realized that Anakin's love turned to lust for power and vengeance. Anakin wanted Obi-Wan dead more than he wanted anything in the moment and Obi-Wan felt knew. The eyes staring back at him with no compassion, burning as his body soaking in fire. Anakin's screams…

Obi-Wan refocuses once again in the desert. He tries to pictures the boy, but he only recalls little of Luke even after watching the infant so intently on their long trip. He remembers only the infant's physical attributes. His skinny fingers that tried to grab Obi-Wan's and his chubby cheeks that are so smooth. His skin warm to the touch, his eyes swollen shut, and his body covered in a white pasty powder, which faded with time. A baby is too fragile a thing in this world.

Obi-Wan knows he would need to train Luke soon, but he no longer feels the connection to the force or the Jedi life was severed, cut when the temple and the order fell. Kenobi understands Luke needs to be capable to survival, but he understands the dark side, and the power of its destruction, its sway. Kenobi's trust in himself is shattered, and because of his fear his own abilities in the force are unsure.

He will have to heal before taking his new apprentice.

The Jedi Master watches the home darken under the sky. He turns and begins to walk home, sensing the weather change. His connection with the force is groggy like he is thinking underwater, while drowning. The thought of his house does not comfort him. Nothing does. He speeds through the darkening day and the dust clouds, walking like a phantom to quickly over the sand.

The tiny grains of sand stirred into the air by the wind pelt his face as he rides home on the speeder parked at the bottom of the hill. He is a man who belongs nowhere and to no one.

Obi-Wan realizes he means nothing in this universe anymore. He is lost and forgotten as he rides through the dark storms of Tattoine. His traditions are dead along with his Jedi order and a part of him is hidden deep down to be managed behind a prison wall he erected in his heart for safekeeping. Kenobi is alone.


End file.
